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| i feel like chicken tonight value, value, value mention it and the dog is gonna yap yap yap when in the territory of the value topic, yep, were always in the park with religion there will always be a weight the value of something its worth etc. were are in the park by the bandstand the graffiti artist is gently caressing the breasts of his 12 year old girlfriend value judgements, yep, yep they can only be invented and yes we have to inherit them our thoughts can only circulate in them breathe in them but the task is always to get out always to escape reconfigure our neural paths talk about traditional values and the church is not far away and even the atheists have their pathetic little code of ethics kill all the woolly liberal guardian readers value value value why why why god god god as representational creatures we like to invent such things will we ever catch these graffiti vandals? we will photograph their tags and keep them in a big reference book cross reference and cross reference we are detectives we will refine our narratives and then they will be put in big folders in big books on big shelves and in the year 9595? well, the human species will probably be something else gone, dust or somewhere else on another planet universal human rights? blah blah blah the melons are two for one you can refine all the historical narratives you like trace all the edges with your fine nanometric felt tip pens politics is just a waste of time time is not linear yes, i know weve said it all before but just think about it its not difficult theres no great mystery here you are not who you think you are or what you are yep, no-one knows why there was a big bang and never will unless god reveals himself and he never will because he cant be seen to be hanging out with the chickens 2oo,ooo years ago the first anatomically modern human had a shit yep, and we dont need to go much further or much deeper we can survive without processing complex thoughts, these days and when the tvs on the blink then what? go to sainsburys and buy a ready meal for you can go any where you like as long as walk down an aisle a predetermined path look its kafkas mouse pushing the trolly alas, i am at the last aisle there in the corner stands the checkout that i must run into but do we have to we like it, it makes us laugh like traditional values? this is what weve always done or just not done or why? because why-because ad infinitum the why is the because you know what your great granddad did for a living where he came from so, what about your 1o, ooo year old ancestor what did he do to pass the time dont waste my what does it mean to be able to make a choice? i wouldnt but then, all of a sudden, we want to emancipate the human race free it from what? close your eyes now and dream |
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clore gallery escape in some ways i suppose the clore gallery escaped or turned itself inside out or slipped out of its skin something was on the move maybe it was the ghost of sterling creeping quietly towards the river thames there it is again we catch it with our eyes as it moves it sees us and stops as if by standing still it won't be seen its stop is forever we stare at the second hand and look up to see what we have: brightly coloured boxes and lampposts thrown together objects have sprung up, sprouted from the sculpture court where have they come from? we know that they have come from the land of the clore they have slid and slipped under the door they have dripped into the outside they have escaped into the garden maybe they dug a tunnel from a sterling dream but headed for the surface too early they take a confused look around. they thought they would at least be on the other side of the road digging tunnels is such hard work we catch them as they rest now they stand quietly, loosely spread the boxes group together, they hang around in gangs the lampposts stand alone their friends are still trapped inside they cling to its walls they wait by the stairs hoping that their turn will come sound erupts from the flower beds and the exterior walls of the clore have also come alive images flicker a young girl called annlee is trying to tell us a story maybe it is the same tragic story that flickers across the turner canvases staring out of this window i'm captive a prisoner of these wooden floors i stand in an angular bay window i'm trapped in the castle tower the window provides me with a frame, a stage set, a scene we have a landscape framed by sterling's green boxed window a group of people has gathered in the courtyard maybe annlee has asked them to come out, tempted them. Invited them to a party in the courtyard it's a school group a teacher stops to light his cigarette. he pauses to read the information board, adding the final touches to his speech. the pupils wait; he lifts his arms and begins, "annlee you proposes!"i watch as he gesticulates i can't hear him he's trapped in a bell jar and the falling sun has sucked out the air it doesn't seem to matter on this cold november afternoon it's a silent film it's a cold november afternoon he doesn't talk for long his students soon break up art is important to them but not as important as being warm finally the sun sets a glorious autumn sunset thr is liquid gold turner himself seems desperate to escape the whole clore gallery is melting the buildings are a backdrop in pink the rive |
| the pre-mothalite imagine you are a moth hatching out of your shell shell of mashed up paint your house of paint flying for the first time and where are you? where are you? what the fuck is this? you have been born onto a canvas yes ,that's it, you've been eating paint for weeks or however long it takes paint and canvas you were fat but now you want to spread your wings and there your are flapping across a canvas but the canvas has been glazed you are trapped in a controlled environment a small world moisture controlled monitored checked on a regular basis this is your moment and the sky has got a glass ceiling can you believe that? this is not how they told you it was going to be they had promised you so much chewed and mashed up paint and canvas, cloth, so much! you liked the cloth and the paint was nice burnt umber or what ever you enjoyed it that was going to be just the beginning there was so much more there should have been so much more that man outside he can't here you screaming if he could he wouldn't be trying to contact the conservation department who will fumigate your world smoke you out like so many of your brothers and sisters you will be removed the rest of the eggs will be removed another population annihilated another field of possibilities will be burnt away |
| nothing art someone threw an egg at the wall not any old wall a wall in tate britain a whitewashed wall in the turner prize a wall in a room that was made especially for martin creed "this is a protest!" the woman shouted as she lobbed her egg at another time she might have had something to throw at but as we all know the room is empty she had nowhere else to throw the egg so she threw it at the wall "this is a protest against nicholas serota!" she shouted "i'm all for art but this is nothing art!" nothing art i like this idea derrick, a friend of mine was on guard when it happened at the time of the incident i kept asking him to retell me the story "what did she say again?" i liked the way he told the story he was so fed up that day there was no enthusiasm in his voice he wasn't trying to impress anybody he really didn't want to be there or anywhere else on that day except in bed maybe he went up to her in the midst of all the flashing cameras "lady lady, do you really think i need this?" she apologised to him he wasn't the target of her protest he related this story in the staff canteen as he rubbed his aching knees he was close to tears just another innocent victim of the art world last night in the pub someone asked me about it "didn't someone throw an egg or something?" i explained what had happened i explained how the woman in question was escorted out by the police "did she get beaten up?" someone else asked i laughed out loud it was a question asked so sincerely that it caught me off guard my train of thought took an unexpected detour the visitor services department involved in a beating that would be something we all know that in the art world violence tends to be restricted to canvas some artists suffer of course but no-one ever really gets hurt on an average day how many people get killed in the art world? someone like derrick might flip out and jump off vauxall bridge but no-one ever gets seriously hurt i told them that nothing happened to her as no lasting damage had been done to the ideas of mr creed i added that maybe if they had beaten her up and stamped on her head, the cctv footage could have been entered for next year's prize in an attempt to keep art 'real' and then we all laughed and started talking about huddersfield a spokesman for martin creed added "You can't make an artwork without breaking eggs" |
| follow the van on my way to work i see them not all the time, just sometimes, police vans passing through the back streets when im heading towards the staff entrance, down john islip street round the back of work they slide passed very quietly i notice them they always make me stop and think i like these vans i used to see them in liverpool i always find them comforting they dont have sirens they never seem in a rush i find them relaxing i like their shape angular derious and clean no curves they are not small and poky but i wouldnt say they were big the sides of these vans are white just white there is a hint of yellow and red somewhere but thinking about it, from memory they are mainly white and the never seem to have drivers nobody drives these vans on the big white sides there are small black windows maybe a foot square you cant see in its smoked glass i assume mysterious smoked glass windows it reminds me of a donald judd clean and even squares in a nice little row thats what i always think i say to myself: i like the side of this van if i had a sculpture garden id buy one and prop it up with wooden splints but its not the side of the van that is art it is the whole van the whole van is pure art as much as i like the side of the van i know it is the whole van you take something prisoner this is fine, fine art you take them prisoner you lock them in a small room on wheels then drive them round london our fine capital city maybe there is a tour guide on board: and on your immediate left is the back of the tate britain. sections of this building were rebuilt in 1987 designed by the architect james sterling. maybe they crane their necks to see maybe they cant see out of these windows maybe they just imagine how it looks maybe they dont care too much about james sterling maybe its empty i know in the name of art people have lived in cages and glass boxes or camped in submarines but some how this is not pure art this art is tainted i cross the street calmly following the police van as it passes me i watch it disappear then i drink my water |
| the final mystery - just
before the catastrophe oh, thats it, were in! we are very in, all parts touching all parts, touching in all parts i feel very sick go away, you disturb me! falling in when im here this is when i am most alone these things are waiting nearly fully grown but dont come too soon! please no, not too soon, you might get stuck crossways and it will only be half as good then i might lose you altogether and might never be in the right mood again ill wait for you to grow into a happy conviction train arrives, 3 coaches long, but i feel very sick i feel awful. theres no reason to be afraid, but i am sometimes im not here and i dont like that youre so far away how can i be here when im not here? i cant even think what it is like for there to be someone else in this room can i have a sandwich? i feel concrete the wood grain the back of the bathroom door grey granite concrete you scratched in your name etched in, scratched imprint imprint, foot print a grey building in a pretty frame an oval frame a bathroom mirror i can almost smell your tb sheets open the window can i have a drink of water? i feel so alone i cant feel my fingers my hand is purple its a colour my hand is blue the shirt thats a shirt cotton i know it i can be inside the gap, i know its a gap what are you? a flea? you idiot! you fool! go away, you disturb me with your feeling sick my legs, im slipping ok, stumble on, but look at the grey what is the pattern its tracing? its tracing out the swallows as they stack together, as they dip and swell in a sickness dip and swell and you sway all across the purple sky i am ill this is your work shirt trace a pattern i feel very sick trace your footprints trace it up the stairs to the sky and then mysteriously, as it were, autonomously, a leg |
| enwirralled i'm enwirralled over a barreled sad and addled rat bedraggled riddled with holes in my life... (my life is riddled with holes...) drawn and quarted dead and thwarted hamilton quartered i've sold all i bought in my life i need to get away... i'm enwirralled dead squirraled gone like billigo coloured with the road killed blues an ufortunate tortured virilent strain of a west kirby train heading south enwirralled with emphasemia enbarking on bulimia just for something to do the park is just for fools so i'm down there just to learn to tie my shoes enwirralled empty and you |
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